So the World Didn’t End…

I didn’t deliberately plan to be out of town when school started again. I had back-to-back HDO weekends in Austin, and it made sense to me to stay with my mom rather than two trips with Luna in the space of a week…especially since she dislikes the trips exceedingly. I reached out to friends still in the trenches to let them know I was thinking of them. The truth is that it still doesn’t feel real. I had a little PTSD when I walked into Walmart a couple of weeks ago because school supplies were LOUD, but once I realized that I didn’t need 25 of this and 100 of that, I was okay. I think I expected to feel some kind of longing or withdrawal from the process, but I don’t…yet.

This is a big change, and even though it was welcome on many levels, it still represents a loss for me…several, in fact. I have lost my routine, my second home, the ability (for the moment) to express my vocation, daily access with my People, a platform where I felt useful, knowledgeable, and purposeful. I am grateful for my HDO work, because it is bridging the gap between the end of one and the Next Thing. There will be a time for grief, and I hope that I will be able to recognize it when it comes so that I can sit with it intentionally.

I don’t know what is next, but one cool thing is that I don’t need to have that figured out yet.

For all of you beautiful people who are stepping into school in whatever capacity, thank you for your service, your commitment, and your Heart. Angels all around you…